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Offline alvchua


  • Joined: Aug 2009

  • Drives: Old junks
  • Location: Adelaide
All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is Acetaminophen.. Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. ...

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.
Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.
Forgiveness is easier to achieve than permission!



Offline CortinaD


  • Joined: Jan 2008

  • Location:
  • Drives:
All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name.

Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it's generic name is Acetaminophen.. Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen. ...

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.
Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Rofl



Offline Rickjames


  • Joined: Aug 2008

  • Location: Bathuuurst
I thought this was one of the funniest stand ups I've seen.
But it isnt for everone! Plently of race & religon jokes!
You been warned!
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8wHmpP33s0" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8wHmpP33s0</a>



Offline Ali_R


  • Joined: Feb 2011

  • Drives: 2006 Subaru Impreza
  • Location: Brisbane
  • Name: Aloush!
A man goes into a gun store and asks the guy working there "What's the best gun you have that is capable of zooming in?" The worker says "the best we have is this one", and he gives him the lastest edition sniper rifle. The worker then says "go on, try it. Have a look outside that window there and tell me what you see?" The customer has a look and replies "I see a house." So then the worker says "Look closer into that house and tell me what you see." So the customer zooms in further and says "mate I can see two people doing it!" So then the worker says "yeah I knew it, thats my wife in there. I'll tell you what, I'll give you the gun for free if you're able to shoot that son-of-a-b!tCh in the D!cK. I'll also throw in the bullets for free if you can get my wife in the head!" So then the customer has another quick look and replies "awesome, I can do this in one shot!" :P



Offline mondi

  • Resident Bogan
  • Moderator

  • Joined: Jul 2008

  • Location:
  • Drives:
A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my Grandpa!”

The cop asked, “What’s he like?”

The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,
“Single Malt Scotch Whiskey and women with big tits.”



Offline PA

  • One man comedy gala

  • Joined: Jan 2008

  • Location: www.club-carbon.com
My mates sister is a dyke, she went to one of those 48hr lesbo orgies at the weekend.
  She was rushed into hospital with a suspected crack overdose.



Offline eddievanhalen


  • Joined: Dec 2009

  • Drives: 2010 jaguar xkr
  • Location: melbourne
Seriously kick arse Obama impersonation at a recent Republican conference.  Towards the end his "roast" becomes a bit too roasty and they kick him out  :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-hfIrag8eXI&feature=player_embedded



Offline adam01


  • Joined: Nov 2009

  • Location:
  • Drives:
WHO IS JACK  SCHITT?

For some time many of us have wondered just who is Jack Schitt?

We find ourselves at a loss when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt'!
Well, thanks to my genealogy efforts, you can now respond in an intellectual way.

Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt.   Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc.   They had one son, Jack.

In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt.  The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.

Against her  parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. 
After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.

Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt. Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg,  Byrd, and Horse.

Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the  world.
He recently returned from Italy  with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.

Now when someone says, 'You don't know Jack Schitt', you can correct them.

Sincerely,
Crock O. Schitt



Offline adam01


  • Joined: Nov 2009

  • Location:
  • Drives:
A guy goes to the supermarket & notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says "Hello." (read dodger)

He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says "Do you know me?" To which she replies, "I think that you're the father of one of my kids."

Now his mind travels back to the only time that he was unfaithful to his wife & says, "Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I had sex with on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery?"

She looks into his eyes & says calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."

boom boom
 
 

 




Offline adam01


  • Joined: Nov 2009

  • Location:
  • Drives:
A young man called Chris from London wanted to buy a Christmas present for his new girlfriend.

They hadn't been seeing each other for very long and she lived in Scotland .

Chris consulted with his sister and decided, after careful consideration, that a pair of good quality gloves would strike the right note... not too romantic and not too personal.

Off he went with his sister to Harrods and they selected a dainty pair of fur lined quality leather gloves. His sister bought a pair of sexy knickers for herself at the same time.

Harrods had a free gift wrap offer but the assistant mixed up the two items, the sister got the gloves and Chris unknowingly got the knickers.

Good old Chris sent off his gift wrapped present in a parcel with the following letter.



Dear Maggie,

I chose these because I've noticed that you are not wearing any when we
go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister I would have
chosen the long ones with buttons, but she wears shorter ones (which
are easier to remove).

These are a very delicate shade, but the lady I bought them from showed
me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks and I hardly
noticed any marks.

I had her try yours on for me and she looked really smart in them even
though they were a little bit tight on her. She also said that they rub
against her ring which helps keep it clean. In fact she hasn't needed
to wash it since she began wearing them.

I wish I was there to put them on for you the first time, as no doubt
many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you
again.

When you take them off remember to blow into them a little bit because
they will be naturally a little damp from wearing.

Just imagine how many times my lips will kiss them during the coming
year.

I hope you will wear them for me on our next date.

All my love,

Chris

P.S. My mum tells me that the latest style is to wear them folded down with a little bit of fur showing




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