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Offline adam01


  • Joined: Nov 2009

  • Location:
  • Drives:
Forum might consider an addendum - CHOICE OF CAR


The Female Demerit System
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.

Here is a guide to the point system:
SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)
SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)
HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)
A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)
YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)
THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)
COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)



Offline mondi

  • Resident Bogan
  • Moderator

  • Joined: Jul 2008

  • Location:
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And if you lose even 1 demerit - you lose your sex license for a month!!!!!   :waah:



Offline PA

  • One man comedy gala

  • Joined: Jan 2008

  • Location: www.club-carbon.com

And if you lose even 1 demerit - you lose your sex license for a month!!!!!   :waah:


I think I did this.


She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)





Offline dodger

  • Tommy Gunna

  • Joined: Dec 2009

  • Location: Melbourne
And if you lose even 1 demerit - you lose your sex license for a month!!!!!   :waah:

That happens after the wedding night.

The brides mother tells her , just do whatever he wants tonight because after that you don't have to do it any more.



Offline alvchua


  • Joined: Aug 2009

  • Drives: Old junks
  • Location: Adelaide
That happens after the wedding night.

The brides mother tells her , just do whatever he wants tonight because after that you don't have to do it any more.
:scratchchin: :thumbsup:
Forgiveness is easier to achieve than permission!



Offline Ferrari Fissatore

  • Soap Dodger

  • Joined: Jan 2007

  • Drives: its obsession
  • Location: under its skin
you guys all married the wrong one!


















(she's standing behind me = + 1000)




Offline AshSimmonds

  • Geekitecht

  • Joined: Feb 2006

  • Drives: GF's shitbox :(
  • Location: Adelayed
  • Name: Humble Narrator
  • www: AshSimmonds.com



Offline Ferrari Fissatore

  • Soap Dodger

  • Joined: Jan 2007

  • Drives: its obsession
  • Location: under its skin
Fixed.

bah, you grumpy old git! You'll find love one day........

I "tried" mine from 1991 till 2002, to be sure, THEN married!



Offline adam01


  • Joined: Nov 2009

  • Location:
  • Drives:
bah, you grumpy old git! You'll find love one day........

I "tried" mine from 1991 till 2002, to be sure, THEN married!

+1000000



Offline app


  • Joined: Sep 2008

  • Location: Adelaide
bah, you grumpy old git! You'll find love one day........

How many + points do you get for saying that with your wife behind you?

:P



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