[mondi]

True....
You previously said dont try to impress just be awesome, I think morphing into awsomeness would be condiderably harder than just merely impressing someone ...and harder to maintain.

No, no, no - you just have to know that you're Awesome - like me!! Why do you think they make us(meaning Ash) live in different States. Cos' that much Awesomeness can't be controlled in the one place!!! It's like Crossing the Streams, you just don't know what's gunna happen......

[AshSimmonds]

True....
You previously said dont try to impress just be awesome, I think morphing into awsomeness would be condiderably harder than just merely impressing someone ...and harder to maintain.

Most guys invest their time into trying to impress people by pretending they're interesting. Better off investing that time in doing interesting things, acquiring knowledge, and pursuing excellence. Awesomeness is a natural byproduct.

[AshSimmonds]

No, no, no - you just have to know that you're Awesome - like me!! Why do you think they make us(meaning Ash) live in different States. Cos' that much Awesomeness can't be controlled in the one place!!! It's like Crossing the Streams, you just don't know what's gunna happen......

 Quoted for truth.

[AshSimmonds]

Have you ever read Personality Plus by Florence Littauer? After I read that book I played with what I learned for fun. I had so many girls/women say, "how do you know that, you know me better than my best friend?" All from what I learnt  from that book.

No, but I've just bought it for my Kindle, thanks.

[app]

Ash, I'm curious as to what you mean by body language?

[AshSimmonds]

Ash, I'm curious as to what you mean by body language?

The way you conduct and project yourself. You can say whatever you want to someone, but if your body language isn't congruent with what's coming outta your mouth, people will pick up on it being disingenuous.

There's a zillion books on the stuff, I can't think of any off the top of my head, I just read up and observe interactions and even just in movies and teevee. There was a guy called Milton Erickson who was a master at reading body language, I can't recall the book but back in the 90's I was reading stuff by and about him (NLP etc) and some of the stories were fascinating.

Think Alan vs Charlie in 2.5 men, even if the show ran out of funny after a couple seasons, it's a great study in how to act and how not to act. Charlie is always slow, measured movements, master of all he surveys, shoulders back, head up, and a self-satisfied look about him. Alan darts around, flailing limbs, hunched and head down like a naughty dog, never sure what's going on and always worried.

A good tip to help you maintain strong posture if you find yourself flailing and feeling nervous is to whack your thumbs in your back pockets. It will naturally pull your shoulders back, stick your chest out a bit, cause you to speak more from your diaphragm giving better voice projection, and generally make you slow down your delivery - one step closer to badassery.

Someone who's sure about themselves is unguarded and calm,  their body language is open, they don't react fast to external stimuli, they have a measured and sure approach, their gaze is strong. The other guy is closed and worried, eyes darting around for signs of danger, the first to jump if something happens like a glass dropped or whatever.

Some guys are natural at this, typically elite athletes etc, they've got that look where they feel like they're ten foot tall and bulletproof, the rest of us need to remind ourselves now and then.

[dodger]

Tip of the day: don't hide intentions, be genuine.

Used to have a real estate agent ring me regularly, on the mobile, would start off with how are you etc then launch into "the last time we spoke" etc this time he rang I was driving he started his banter then when I didn't respond said "I'm fine thanks for asking" I just told him my attitude to someone who is trying to sell me something is different to if a friend rings me.

Haven't heard anything since.

They make out like you're old buddies trying to keep that going in case you decide to sell, pisses me off, he's not my buddy he's barely an acquaintance but he is a considerable pest.

[AshSimmonds]

They make out like you're old buddies trying to keep that going in case you decide to sell, pisses me off, he's not my buddy he's barely an acquaintance but he is a considerable pest.

I've been brutal lately - I know it's just Facebook but a lot of people take that stuff seriously, and I've been using it more to actually talk to and arrange stuff with people I know, however last week I culled like 60 people which caused a few burnt scones.  Point being I looked at these people and just wondered why I kept them around in my daily consciousness, we might have had a couple fun drunken nights out or hooked up, but they weren't people that were interested in actually catching up though. 

And then there were dozens of women who I'd either met out and about or were friends of friends, in the back of your mind you keep them around because you think something might happen - but it won't unless you randomly run into them out and about.  The friends of friends chicks, I'll run into them again when I'm with said friends. I'm slowly paring it down to only people who are on the first level with me, ie - they would be cool about catching up with just me.

So yeah, back to the point: be genuine - especially to yourself - about who you associate with and why.

[CortinaD]

I've been brutal lately - I know it's just Facebook but a lot of people take that stuff seriously, and I've been using it more to actually talk to and arrange stuff with people I know, however last week I culled like 60 people which caused a few burnt scones.  Point being I looked at these people and just wondered why I kept them around in my daily consciousness, we might have had a couple fun drunken nights out or hooked up, but they weren't people that were interested in actually catching up though. 

And then there were dozens of women who I'd either met out and about or were friends of friends, in the back of your mind you keep them around because you think something might happen - but it won't unless you randomly run into them out and about.  The friends of friends chicks, I'll run into them again when I'm with said friends. I'm slowly paring it down to only people who are on the first level with me, ie - they would be cool about catching up with just me.

So yeah, back to the point: be genuine - especially to yourself - about who you associate with and why.

May I offer a suggestion?

Use your new found time to achieve your project objectives you were talking about rather than worry about women & cleaning up your facebook otherwise you will eat into all your leave and nothing will change.

[dodger]

So yeah, back to the point: be genuine - especially to yourself - about who you associate with and why.

Spent a bit of time recently examining myself and why things have gone the way they have, it's damn hard to look at yourself and be objective, takes a lot of doing really.